Saturday, September 28, 2013

Good news and a set back

Hello!  Remember how a few weeks ago I was writing to you to tell you we were still short on funds for our final trip?  Quite a bit short, if my memory holds correct.  Well, guess what.  He did it.  God provided all we need for our final trip to travel and pick up Wren!  We are blown.a.way.  So humbled and so grateful.  Thank you, to all of you.  For praying.  For giving.  For praying some more.  What a weight this has lifted from our shoulders!  Thank you all for being part of this story.  We are grateful beyond measure.

If you remember from my last post, we had a pretty sweet plan as to how and when we were going to travel.  We even had the funds and woke up at 4:45 Wednesday morning to check and hope for an email from the US Embassy with the news we had cleared.  The email did not come but a call from our agency did later that afternoon and it was not the news we were hoping for.  The person who was supposed to show up for the final interview Wednesday had missed the appointment.  She is apparently on a religious pilgrimage.  And that's all we know.  Where she is or when she'll be back, a mystery.  How this happened, no idea.  We have about a million and a half questions and zero answers at this point.  We hope to hear more on Monday but that is just a hope.  We feel frustrated and angry and sad and confused.  I have shed many tears and as I was working to process it all and not blame myself for not praying enough, etc., my dear friend asked me the perfect question. 
"What is God saying to you in this?"
This brought on more tears as I hadn't thought about that yet.  I was too busy being angry and blaming myself and thinking God was punishing me for...something!  As I cried and tried to clear my mind to hear the Lord, I remembered He is on our side.  I feel like He didn't want this to happen and He hasn't given up on me or us or this process!  I also felt Him asking me not to waste this.  Not to waste this time but also not to waste this pain/struggle.  Instead of wallowing in my sadness/bitterness/anger/confusion, turn to Him and let Him change me in this.  Let it not be for nothing.  This may sound cliche or trite but to me it was so comforting and for the first time, I accepted it and believed it.  Did the pain and sadness immediately disappear?  No.  Do I feel like God is saying that my feelings aren't real or justified?  No.  I think He is asking me to not get stuck there.  To invite Him into the feelings and situation. 
Even though I didn't really want a scripture thrown at me to try to make everything right, (sorry, speaking truth here), someone posted a verse from Psalm 62 on Facebook.  It was random that this person posted this but it spoke to me and meant something to me.  As I read the whole passage, these verses particularly stuck out to me:
Let all that I am wait quietly before God,
    for my hope is in him.
He alone is my rock and my salvation,
    my fortress where I will not be shaken.
My victory and honor come from God alone.
    He is my refuge, a rock where no enemy can reach me.
O my people, trust in him at all times.
    Pour out your heart to him,
    for God is our refuge. 

 He is our refuge in this confusion and sadness.  And He is good.  I don't know what news we will get next week, if any, but I'm choosing not to waste this setback and invite Jesus in.  We'll keep you posted.


Addie said...

Oh, man. I'm so sorry. I hate verse-tossing, because as Christians, we are uncomfortable with letting grieving people grieve and be hurt. Your post, though you face a set-back, is so encouraging to me. What God is teaching you is encouraging to me. How you are sharing it is encouraging. I love you. Will be praying with you in this frustrating process.

Anonymous said...

I am sorry Naomi and Peter. You were so looking forward to this happening now. But, God will see to the safety and welfare of your child, and it will happen. Think of it as its your religious pilgrimage time also. God loves you and he loves Ren. May his peace be with you as you process, cry, grieve, laugh, sing, or whatever gets you through. I guess its Joel giving you a side show up a wall. Love you all so much, and praying for you. love Mohan.