Monday, July 1, 2013

Waiting....and waiting...and waiting some more

When I was in labor with Kale and it came time to push, the nurse, who was just trying to help, I'm sure, told me he was right there and would be out quickly.  So, after one push, I was surprised that he had not popped out.  (This was my first delivery mind you.)  FOUR HOURS and some suction later, we got to meet our cone headed boy.

Right now in this adoption, we need some suction.  Or forceps.  Or a c-section.  An initial court date, that we didn't need to be there for, happened June 6th.  We were told we would hear our court date shortly after, maybe up to 2 weeks after.  And when we heard about our court date, we might need to leave in a hurry.  And then a friend with our same agency got a call Tuesday that she needed to leave Friday.  And we heard of another family getting an even shorter notice.  So, to me, it felt like the nurse saying, "he'll be out in a jiffy".  We expected that call any minute and began to prepare accordingly.  Immunizations, lists, documents notarized, directions for grandmas, more lists.  Having a small heart attack every time the phone rang.  And then a week passed.  And then another week.  And then another.  And here we are in the middle of week 4.  And there are no forceps!  Or pitocin.  There is absolutely nothing I can do but wait.

Why is it taking so long you ask?  We finally got somewhat of an answer today.  First, everything is different in Ethiopia.  I'm told it is a different time system over there that we will be surprised to see when we finally get to visit.  Also, the region our little miss is from is aways away from Addis and can be slow to work with apparently.  They also had some turn around with the MOWCYA director in that region so that slowed things down as well.  That is as well as I can explain it without overwhelming everyone with adoption terms and the like.  In a nutshell-ish, we have been waiting on the edge of our seat to leave, for the last 3 weeks.  It is exhausting.  Mentally and emotionally.  Add to that the fact that we have yet to receive an updated picture of sweet girl, it is mentally confusing!  The questions that flood my mind.  Is she real?  How old is she now?  Can she walk?  Can she crawl?  Can she even sit up?  Has she been sick?  How big is she?  And on and on.  I go between cussing and hitting pillows in frustration to asking the Lord to move and trying to trust Him.  But mostly it is a lot of cussing.  I know the next wait, after we meet her and have to leave her, will be even worse.  We'll have pictures of her, with us in them!  We'll know some of her personality.  We'll know where she is developmentally and what kind of help she needs.  We knew this would be overwhelming and hard when we went into it but I also thought, "Oh, ours won't be like that.  It will be a breeze."  It was for awhile, which I am very grateful for.  Apparently I'm not so great at this handling of the hard stuff.  But, much like the end of a pregnancy, I'm ready to be done with the waiting.  I know the next part will be hard and exhausting and overwhelming but I'm just done with this chunk of the process.  Obviously, it isn't done with me yet...

3 comments:

Addie said...

Love you, lady. Thanks for a glimpse into the frustration of waiting, just on the edge... for a long time. That's hard. I'm praying for you guys. What, specifically, should I be praying for, other than metaphorical pitocin? :)

Jamie Herzog said...

Oh the waiting...sigh...I am praying for all in this wait as I know it is crazy hard!!!!

kelsey said...

Oh Naomi! I've been meaning to ask if something happened on the 17th. Sorry to hear you are still waiting with baited breath! Hang in there. xoxo